If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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