Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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