Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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