I just cut my nipple shaving
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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