I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize