i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
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