we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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