I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize