then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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