Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize