I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
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i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
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Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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