"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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