I look better un-naked...
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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