So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
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I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
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Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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