I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
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