there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
Randomize