First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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