Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize