OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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