I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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