Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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