to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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