Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
They took my balls.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize