I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I showed him my bush... on skype.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I show you my penis last night?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
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