i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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