Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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