Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize