I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
This beer is not sobering me up at all
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It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
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