he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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