Me. At least after what I've been through.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
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she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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