If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize