So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i barfeds in our rink
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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