Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
It's Friday. Sex?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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