Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize