I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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