So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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