How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize