Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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