I can text with my tongue
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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