Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize