I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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