some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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