We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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