i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
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