So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
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They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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