Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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