tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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