Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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