ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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