overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Two words: blizzard sex
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize